จริงๆ คนในครอบครัวแม่งเป็นบทเรียนของคนรักกันแต่ไม่เข้าใจกันที่ชัดมากของชีวิตเลย (หยง, 2559)
The quote says Indeed, family is the obvious example of those unhealthy relationships that people don’t understand each other.
I had this conversation with my friend a few days ago. When she mentioned that sentence out of nowhere, I suddenly realized that it’s true, it’s f*cking true.
I’ve never had any perspectives towards my family like relationship before. Cause family is family, we are bound together with blood running through veins. When it comes to family, there’s nothing being able to tear parents and children apart, at least in the culture I’ve been surrounded since born.
But for real, yeah, family is one of those complex relationships out there. It’s not even different from friends or couples, at all! Plus, admit it, this forever-attached relationship usually gives us headache. For (the easiest) example, when children disappoint parents’ expectation, they argue. That’s it. It all starts with disagreement.
So, I would like to point out some main issues causing all the problems among family members, something we all might forget or just overlook.
- We’re not the same generation.
Don’t you agree that the sentence above kinda perfectly describes the problems? Hell-yeah, it does. Even how close you are with your parents, there will always be a generation gap, like they don’t understand why you find those loud noisy EDM music very pleasant and enjoyable instead of classical Mozart.
That’s because most of 20th century parents are Gen X, or even Baby Boomers; on the other hand, we, children, are Gen Y or Gen Z or Millennials. Of course dear, our parents and we had been raised in a whole different way.
Gen X needs high saving record for whatever they plan after retirement, which is vice versa from us. We eat well, travel often, enjoy and live the moment, basically spending tons of money pleasing ourselves while parents think that we’re wasting it.
Moreover, our parents work hard, very hard. Again, they want you to get the high-paid job and make more money like them. However, we do work-life balance and work passionately. Personally, high salary isn’t my first priority when looking for a job, I’d rather seek for something I really want to do and be able to make the best out of it.
And these all lead to argument in one way or another.
- We are *now* in 2016.
It’s not 19xx-ish anymore. Everything has change, yeah like Taylor Swift’s song. We’ve been raised in changing and fast-growing society, from manual to automatic, from analog to digital, from nokia to apple. There’s no way family can live together happily if the olders don’t even try to adapt themselves to right-now environment. And there’s a question like why don’t children adapt themselves to parents instead? Alright, so children are supposed to live backward while people at the same age are moving forward…. Don’t you think it’s kinda ridiculous? Even I don’t agree with let’s meet half-way (cause it doesn’t work in any mean!), but that might be the best way for all.
Extra: Why do I say that half-way doesn’t work? Cause it doesn’t! No matter how hard you try, you still have that im-always-right ego. You pretend understanding it, but you’re so against it inside. Why? Cause you’re just so tired of fighting each other, aren’t you?
- Children are rebel.
Yes I am. But I feel more like it’s time to grow up and try new things. If it doesn’t hurt anyone else, there’s nothing to regret. I believe that nobody is perfect, and everybody makes mistakes. Mistakes and struggles make you stronger and so much more mature.
While your parents try every possible way to protect and not let you experience anything yourself, you would slowly die of boredom inside. And how can you survive in the society when you grow up? For instance, what would you do when your boss offer you a glass of wine but you never drink any of alcohol cause it’s prohibited by your parents?
Don’t answer me, answer yourself.
- Everything opposite parents’ attitude is considered bad.
(Extreme) Conservative Thai Family 101: What Thai Parents Hate If Their Children Do.
– waking up late.
– wearing shorts, short skirt.
– wearing bikini.
– drinking alcohol.
– going party or nightout.
– be in a relationship.
– having sex.
Just to name a few…..
If you do those things above, you are a bad kid! #forevergrouded
– class ended –
So, the family relationship is something unhealthy we’re encountering everyday, but we couldn’t run away from like dumping girl/boyfriend. It won’t ever broken. It’s impossible just texting them “you’re done” and finding new family to be with. Hell no.
So, what can we do to make this work? I think the best way is to respect each other’s decision. If one does something you don’t like but it doesn’t hurt others, it’s not your business. I might seem very rude but it’s the easiest way things work. Just equally give everyone space, let them design the life they want. Cause eventually everyone must live on their own.
However, keep doing good things together, like having dinner, watching TV or going on a trip from time to time. It’s happier, don’t you think so?
It’s not necessary to understand each other’s everything, but you’re more supposed to accept and respect them even you like it or not. That’s a wrap.